Dark Rye Crackers

You know when you go into a supermarket to buy a really nice packet of crackers and you find that you grit your teeth in silent fury as the ones you like the most cost £3.50 for a pack of 16? …Yeah? Anyone else get that..? [*pant, pant*] 

These are the kind of crackers I always opt for. It annoys me greatly that I buy them at all, that I’m playing into the hands of the man by buying them... I love crackers. I eat them a lot. But honestly, crackers are just flour and water. These take all of five minutes to weigh and roll out, then only need a quick spell in a hot oven. Hey presto, artisan crackers. Hipster crackers. Have them with a piece of cheese you bought in London which cost a mere four hundred pounds. Actually, I will. Dark rye gives a great nutty flavour and the addition of poppy seeds, caraway or sesame seeds adds to that- give them a go if you want to stick it to Waitrose.

Granola Bars

Normally the granola bar is seen as the boring cousin of the flapjack. Dry and often tasteless, I’ll be the first to admit that I’d side with the flapjack if it was pitted against the granola bar in a fight. This may have something to do with a lust for golden syrup that’s rarely sated but the fact that so many granola bars are dry and hard, rather than moist and soft is always a turn off for me. Last week however, I made the mistake of buying an unsatisfactory coconut and after having shoved a quarter of it in a spicy chicken pulao rice dish, I still had three quarters of the soft-fleshy thing left. Always one to rise to a challenge, I went in search of recipes that could tempt me and lo, the granola bar won.

Bagels

In a moment of madness, I decided to volunteer in a flour mill at York’s Castle Museum. Wild at the thought of working in a mill, I underestimated how very cold it was in there and how little time I actually had to work in the place. Plus, little gripe here: it’s a crime that museum funding is so low that they have to rely on volunteers to run things. As a student, I’m not ashamed to admit I really did need money. I am ashamed, however, to admit that as a result of the wallet, I had to give up volunteering before I’d even begun! One good thing that came out of this process was that the thought of being able to work in a “demonstration bread kitchen” got me so excited, that I quickly whipped up some bagels to give to people in charge to land me the job. Which would have worked, if anyone cared. Volunteers just need to turn up, they don’t need to bring bribery bagels, do they? I ate them myself and gave some to my neighbour, Maria.