Crisps made in the Microwave, aka Magic Crisps

There is no savoury snack that I savour more than a crisp. Though nutritionists would need a lie down on hearing this, a fond childhood memory of mine consists of me standing by the side of our cooker as my mum cooked up thin slices of potatoes in a chip pan to make “crisps”. Yes, I was a chubby child but it was the nineties! Plus, my mum never really did anything like that, so it was a naughty, indulgent experience for both of us. In fact, I don’t even remember Amy being there, so perhaps the secrecy added an extra spice to our nocturnal proceedings. My impatient wait by the cooker as the oil came to temperature was nothing compared to the agony of allowing the cooked crisps to cool on a piece of kitchen paper. Sprinkled with salt and chewy in places, those crisps were divine. We’d eat them greedily as each batch came out of the pan and so never had enough for a bowlful.

A few evenings ago, in our new Leicester flat, I decided I needed some crisps but rather than spend five minutes going outside to the corner shop, I wasted a little over an hour making them. This is a recipe for the curious amongst you; you’ll need time to waste, self-restraint and a big mugful of giving a crap. Because it isn’t really worth doing. But I enjoyed the experience! And they have practically NO FAT AT ALL, so if you want to eat crisps that are genuinely good for you and taste of real potatoes, try it! Maybe I should have mentioned that sooner. Virtuous crisps, people!

Ingredients:

2 medium sized potatoes, scrubbed

Oil

Salt (any other seasoning you fancy- pepper, paprika, dried herbs ground to a powder).

Method:

1. As I’ve said, this is a laborious process, so begin by slicing your potatoes as thin as you can (essentially, aim to get them as thin as a hand-cooked or kettle chip). I suppose you could aim for a penny’s width, but mine came out bigger and still tasted great- crunchy!
2. With your potatoes sliced, put them in a bowl of cold water for at least a minute, to soak out some of the starch.
3. Take enough potato slices to cover a microwaveable plate and dab dry with kitchen paper.
4. Massage the dry slices in up to 1 tsp oil and season. 
5. Arrange the slices on a microwaveable plate (no overlapping I’m afraid) and microwave on full for about 4 minutes.
6. The potatoes will slowly start to cook; after the four minute mark, push them about on the plate a little to make sure they don’t stick. It’s good to turn them. When they’re halfway through cooking, they’ll start to get a little stiff and bendy but in their early stages the potatoes will be near-translucent.
7. Once flipped, microwave the potatoes for another 4 minutes. What you’re aiming for is for the potatoes to look like crisps- that’s the most obvious statement I think I’ve ever typed but essentially you need to keep microwaving the potatoes until they turn golden brown. They can catch very easily and turn into horrid charcoal-tasting nasties if you take your eye off them near the end, so if you value your sanity just keep staring through the microwave window (I'm aware that's an oxymoron).
8. When your potatoes have magically turned to golden, delicious, crunchy crisps, slide them on to a piece of kitchen paper to cool, while you work your way through the remaining 4-5 batches of potato slices.

It’s a painful process but c’mon, you just made CRISPS! Just try not to eat them whilst you wait for the rest of them to cook, because then you'll realise how you've got yourself involved in what is essentially a phenomenal waste of time. Love it!